i hate it when i see someone i vaguely know in public. do i say hi?? do i act like i don’t see them and hope for the best??
kid 1: whatcha doing
kid 2: eating chocolate
kid 1: where’d ya get it
kid 2: doggy dropped it
*8 years later*
me: they were eating poop
DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.
when you run out of energy on the Kim Kardashian game
Waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you still have time to sleep